so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
