Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
