Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
