The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
