Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
