The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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