i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
