Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
