He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
