In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
