In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
