yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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