Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize