Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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