shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
