My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize