none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
