I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
