if only i could text you this smell
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize