bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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