I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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