I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
