its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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