just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
