I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
