they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
