Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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