It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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