I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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