At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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