i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
