btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
