Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
