yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
