Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
