if you like me you must not know who I am
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
