Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
