this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
