Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
