His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
