Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
