I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I did not marry a roomba.
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