well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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