I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
