Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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