I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
