i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Enjoy the penises
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
