What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
