Have you finally orgasmed yet?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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