Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
