the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
