This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
