Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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