Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
