my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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