Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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