My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I think people are normalizing furries
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
