I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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