I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
