i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
