Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
